It’s all about the head game

It’s no secret that I have very little spatial body awareness. They decided recently to randomly move a large cabinet to directly outside the door I enter and exit everyday several times. I made a point to let my coworkers know that at some point very soon I will run into it. That cabinet won’t get away with it now. In other news I slammed my head into my bedroom door tonight. Just another day in the life of moi. 



It’s like riding a bicycle…

Thinking back on little anecdotes of my life brings to light the interesting fact that I will throw myself into something that terrifies me…never want to do it again, but then push myself through until I’m no longer scared. One of those times was when I was a couple weeks away from moving to Chicago and I had no vehicle at the time, but I needed one (to commute home on the weekends duh) and a friend offered to sell me their 1994 Geo Metro for $200. Great! The trick is that it was a manual transmission and I had no clue how to drive a stick, but my friend knew that and said I could drive it for a week and try it out.

So after he left me with his keys (and trust) I immediately went out to my apartment parking lot and started the car (successfully) and then tried to back out of the parking space (unsuccessfully) several times. That was until my kind neighbor (whom I shared cable with and later gave all my ice cream stash to when I moved) yelled down to me asking if I needed help learning stick (or something to that affect). Of course I graciously accepted and so began the 30 minutes of hell (for the both of us) in which he taught me how to drive a manual in rush hour traffic in the city. He had prefaced our lesson with that he had taught over 20 people how to drive stick so he was used to this sort of thing. Which I’m guessing he was referring to the nerve wracking inexperience, but I don’t know that he was quite prepared for me. Hence why the lesson lasted all of 30 minutes, but he taught me the basics.

When I got back into my apartment I immediately called my mother crying to her that there was no way I’d ever get in that car again. I just didn’t want to drive a stick. I was truly terrified, but when I woke up the next day I told myself “if I can get it out of the parking lot successfully I will drive it to work”. Because my desire to not ride the bus was greater then my terror of driving a manual vehicle. It was a sweaty ride and I nearly had a panic attack when I was stuck at a stoplight on a hill only a quarter mile from where I worked, but I made it! I drove that thing to Chicago and back (for the whole month I lived there and the couple months after I had moved back in with my parents) till it finally died because funny thing about oil leaks and not checking your oil enough…it kills the engine.

Why would I think of that story now? Well I’m currently in the running to be a rural route driver for a mail delivery service and you have to be able to drive on the right side of the vehicle (in a not so normal way) and the idea terrifies me a little. But my desire for a job I’d be happy to retire from and also support my family with trumps my terror of this new thing that I will have to learn. I can do this!

This isn't a photo of that car, but mine looked just like this. I miss that mpg now :(
This isn’t a photo of that car, but mine looked just like this. I miss that mpg now 😦

Humor is everywhere

I’ve found it is essential to find humor in everything. Especially in working in customer service or an office. Life all together can be quite funny when you find the good in anything negative. That is when I laugh. Usually I share because it is best not to laugh alone otherwise people tend to look at you a little crazy (though sometimes they also can keep their distance which isn’t all that bad).

For instance this week I’ve taken on the role of fly killer. We have an exaggerated version of a fly swatter in our office that I pick up any time that I’m made aware of the presence of a fly. My co-workers have accepted my role and encouraged it. As soon as I see the fly they give me space to kill it and I usually do so with a killing phrase like “gotcha” or “thats what you get when you mess with the best”. It sounds ridiculous, but I figure even if I don’t humor someone else I can at least laugh at myself.

So here is another quick example: You have an annoying co-worker or perhaps an extremely pessimistic one (ugh) that just drains the office or makes it an unpleasant work environment. Everytime something negative comes out of their mouth imagine them as some sort of silly creature (like an elephant or a monkey) it just has to be something ridiculous. It entirely diffuses anything that they say and in turn also provides a humourous image for you to snicker at (preferably in your head).

I’m not entirely sure how my co-workers take my random snickers or crazy banter, but usually I have at least one co-worker and most often my supervisor letting out a hearty laugh. It isn’t quite that I seek attention so much as in order to keep my balance I need to laugh at life and enjoy sharing the laughter with others. Hence this blog 🙂


Look what I can do!
                                                     Look what I can do!

Making my mark.

It is no surprise to me and the people who know me that I’ve now managed to burn both my arms in the matter of a week. My bodies spacial awareness barely exists. At least one almost looks like the rebel symbol from Star Wars. 

Yes my arms are hairy. But at least I’m almost officially marked as a rebel!
This one touched a hit pan twice. Two separate instances.

Then this morning I had my coffee cup in hand and didn’t realize it was open as I proceeded to dump a good portion of it over my left breast when I first got into work. I immediately went to the bathroom and tried to wash it out in hopes it wouldn’t stain. No such luck. Hopefully I can get it out in the wash. Just another day in my life. 

Another Tuesday

Waking up with pain in your shoulder blades is a good indicator of how your Tuesday is going to be. A terrible echo of the previous Tuesday. But I did learn my lesson and went to the Chiropractor this time. They put you on this table and when they put the tabby things on you that both heat and pulsate on the muscles of your back…I could have fell asleep, but well…coffee. It was very relaxing and when he adjusted my spine there were parts of my back that felt much better, but when he asked about my neck I should have said “Yes have some” because that is still hurting. So if I’m still in pain on Thursday I will go back. In happier news I have another day off of work! Doesn’t feel like a vacation, but it kind of is (let me have this). Debating how I will spend the rest of my day. Definitely not taking another muscle relaxer. Those are just great sleepy time pills.

Meanwhile my dog is finding all sorts of uncomfortable looking positions to lay down in so that she can curl up near me. I’m pretty sure she would be able to practice Yoga way better then me. Flawless downward dog!


Turd factor

My dog is an interesting representative of her breed. While in many ways she is the typical Golden Retriever, there is most certainly things that are uniquely her. Or at least that is what I like to think. 

1. If your hand is outside the boundaries of any furniture she will make a point to lay down upon her back and reach out her paw to you. She just wants you to hold her paw.

2. She will never bark unless you start to play with her with either a piece of mail or a noisy plastic bag (usually garbage or recycling in our house).

3. If it’s a tight space…she will try to fit in it.


4. For whatever reason rain, thunder, wind, fireworks or any other sort of disturbance that usually bothers dogs…doesn’t bother her. But when the grass is wet she will always poop with her feet in the grass and her butt over the sidewalk. I’m not sure if it’s to avoid getting her butt wet (I can only assume) or some other strange reason, but it’s quite bothersome to have to pick up dog crap off the sidewalk. She can get everything else wet, but not her butt? 

I love my dog, but she has some interesting traits. She’s an odd duck like her owner. Sometimes I think she picked me and not the other way around 😋


Just a little bit…

Some days just get you down in the dumps. You start to feel like the deck is stacked against you and you just get into a spiral of self-pity. Today is most certainly one of those days. No details I’m all about smiles and laughter, but I’ll just say that my back issues weren’t helping. 

Confession…I eat my feelings. Honestly I really don’t hide it so it’s hardly a confession. Tonight I was trying to find my happy thoughts and I found them at the bottom of what remained of my Ben and Jerrys Tonight Dough. My belly aches but my spirits are a little lighter. I do not recommend the feelings diet for those that like a not-so-curvy body. But old habits are hard to beat (especially when you really want to eat).